同志问答

主持人:Damien Lu (星星) 博士

Damien Lu : ...

xiao fei (先生) :

Damien Lu :
Strong social bonds are not limited to marriage. The fact is in China today, many many marriages (between straight people) fail, and often result in family tragedies. Therefore, I do not believe ANYONE need to get marriage. It should entirely be a personal choice. For social bonds, people need to learn how to develop social skills and cultivate relationships.
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I hope it will become the reality, as in China at the moment, marriage is like a bible clause, everyone should obey it no matter what, if you do not marry, you are the 'criminal', how should we face this?
Also, may I ask how should the gay men face the reality of hard to find life long partner as straight guys, we do not have legal or social protection, we are so vulnerable.

May I also ask, what is love, is love about sexual attraction, for instance, John like Brad's personality, but John does not like Brad's body or dick, because Brad is too skinny, so John does not want to make love with Brad, but John really love Brad as a person, because Brad is considerate, this kind of quality John rarely met, is this love, can they be happy together ever after?

Thanks AiBai.

Damien Lu :

IN practice, the definition of love is something that every dating couple, whether gay or straight, has to develop. Most people have an abstract idea of what love is but this is not enough. During the dating process, the two people involved need to develop and clarify what they each think love is. The reason people can be together for a long time is because they jointly developed their own definition of love. This is the most important purpose of dating.

星星老师 我女儿今年1 ...

王涛 (先生) :

星星老师

我女儿今年14岁,上初中一年。偶然发现微信中,和女朋友谈论喜欢女孩子,我女儿平时中性打扮。跟我说不喜欢男生。长大不想结婚。是不是孩子性取向上有问题。孩子平时心里也不太健康。我该如何教导她
谢谢老师

Damien Lu :

性倾向不论是什么,都不是“问题”,这一点你一定首先要搞清楚。至于她性倾向是什么,这是只有她自己才能判断的,作为家长,你需要给她提供的是安全的家庭环境,让孩子能够感觉到,不论怎么样,你都会爱她。性倾向不是孩子可以选择的,也是不能改变的。

hi aibai re ...

xiao fei (先生) :

hi aibai

research shows that the strong social bonds society has less risk of depression, in China, everyone should get married, do you think this is the protection factor for chinese healthy wellbeing? Then as Gay man, should we get married to obtain the social bonds protection of being depressive in the future when we are getting older and vulnerable? Thanks.

Damien Lu :

Strong social bonds are not limited to marriage. The fact is in China today, many many marriages (between straight people) fail, and often result in family tragedies. Therefore, I do not believe ANYONE need to get marriage. It should entirely be a personal choice. For social bonds, people need to learn how to develop social skills and cultivate relationships. 

老师您是直男还是同志呢 ...

小路 (先生) :

老师您是直男还是同志呢
您是心理医生吗
怎么才能不喜欢同性,不想同性。对同性没有感觉。对异性想念有感觉呢。
有感觉是性欲望在作祟吗

Damien Lu :

我是同志,不是心理医生。性倾向不是自己能够控制的,如果你是同性倾向,那么对同性别的人有兴趣,就像异性倾向的人对异性有兴趣一样,是不可改变也不能控制的。

爱白 我不能忍受男友的身 ...

OO (先生) :

爱白
我不能忍受男友的身上的一点异味,他又不爱洗澡,我该怎么办?我连手淫都要求男友戴套,这不算洁癖吧?
谢谢。

Damien Lu :

前者却是很难令人接受,所以是否继续在一起,你自己应该想想,即使不爱洗澡,有了爱人都不能为了爱人每天洗个澡,这样的爱人有意义么?  


手淫要求戴手套,确实是洁癖。

老师好 和已婚男人可能转 ...

听听 (先生) :

老师好
和已婚男人可能转变为兄弟情吗?

Damien Lu :

如果有过感情瓜葛,没有办法直接转为朋友,不论对方是否已婚。

我现在16岁了,我发现我 ...

秦炀 (先生) :

我现在16岁了,我发现我好像不喜欢女生,而且经常看到好看的男生会有性欲,甚至做梦梦到过和男生那个,请问老师,我是不同性恋,我该怎么办。。。

Damien Lu :

你先看看这篇文章吧:http://www.aibai.cn/advice_pages/Sexuality/

不论你性倾向是什么,都没有必要担忧,要增进知识,要建立自信,相信自己的直觉。性倾向没有必要影响你的生活,只要你能够坦然面对。

星星,我前两天约了一个炮 ...

得瑟儿 (先生) :

星星,我前两天约了一个炮友,没有发生10关系,就是相互趴在身上蹭,事后发现我的包皮被蹭破皮了,而且还流血了,我的血液有一部分在对方腰的一侧,而且血液周围还有黏液,我怕是对方的前列腺液,然后在蹭的过程中接触到了我的包皮破损处,我的这种情况有感染hiv的可能吗?

Damien Lu :

不能排除感染的可能。

我有个问题想请教您,我之 ...

jjk (先生) :

我有个问题想请教您,我之前和炮友发生了性关系,我做0,在他射精后拔出安全套时他的JJ和套子脱落了,导致套子有一小段留在我的肛门里,我当时看了下套子没有破,精液也都在安全套前段没有流出来,但是有类似润滑剂的透明液体顺着避孕套底部卷边的地方流了一点出来。请问星星老师 这种方式有可能传染hiv吗?

Damien Lu :

这没有办法猜测,你应该定期接受检测。

星星老师.你好.随着年龄 ...

微信公众号关注者 (女士) :

星星老师.你好.随着年龄的增长越来越觉得没什么是很感兴趣的东西.对于工作也是不停的再换.始终感觉不知道想要什么.也不知道该怎么做职业规划.越来越迷茫.感觉越长越困惑

Damien Lu :

人的一生是要不断发展自己的兴趣和爱好的,这些不见得与职业有关,是为了人生更充实有趣。